In WRI 10 this semester, I was able to gain different experiences in writing, public speaking, and critical reading.  From the formal essays to group led discussions, I have made growth throughout these sixteen weeks.  Writing has never been an easy subject for me and it has always been hard for me to write out what I am trying to convey on to the paper.  I know I can never escape writing, but along the way I was able to grow fond of it.  WRI 10 has been a great experience and I was able to learn and process new experiences.

In this class, I have written a total of four essays and one diagnostic.  In my drafts below, I have been able to make progress in my writing.  For WRI 10, the class has a set format that we have to follow.  An essay must included an introduction, a thesis statement, four topic sentences, and a conclusion.  This format has been very helpful for me in writing my essays.  I am able to see where I lack in writing and where I need to make changes with the help of my peers.  The critical readings that I had to have done on discussion days help me understand the discussion that was going on.  Although I didn’t participated as fully as I wanted to, the group led discussion has helped ease my fear of public speaking and I am able to share different ideas with my peers.  In the process of learning, being able to have a helping hand makes life my easier.

Diagnostic 1:

Essay 1:

Essay 2:

Essay 3:

Essay 4:


  1. Hi Mai,

    Good work so far in this semester:

    • I am able to see your wordpress page and it looks good
    • I am not able to see your in-class diagnostic
    • I am able to see your revised diagnostic. My only suggestion on format is that you upload your revised essay as a pdf. You seem to have it as a word document
    • I have read your revised diagnostic and find it to be, on the AWPE 1 through 6 scale:
    o A 3 paper is unsatisfactory in one or more of the following ways. It may respond to the text illogically; it may lack coherent structure or elaboration with examples; it may reflect an incomplete understanding of the text or the topic. Its prose is usually characterized by at least one of the following: frequently imprecise word choice; little sentence variety; occasional major errors in grammar and usage, or frequent minor errors
    • Do note that all wordpress pages are public unless you make it private. If you choose to make it private, do make sure that I am still able to access it

    If you would like further comments please do find me during office hours.

    I have uploaded the prompt for essay one. We will discuss it, and start work on it, in class this week. The prompt is at both and The page is where I will archive all uploaded documents for this class, including the AWPE scoring guide which I used in assessing your diagnostic. The page will focus on the most current-use documents, including a weekly lesson plan including homework.

    I suggest you to read the entirety of In Cold Blood before we are scheduled to complete it in class. This suggestion is so that you can start writing into your essay with enough time to go through several edits on the completed paper.

    I look forward to working with you through this semester.



  2. Essay 1: In Cold Blood: Perspective and primary source material

    Good work. You handed in, Essay 1, at a length of roughly 1000 words, on February 13. You used the pdf format and I can see three drafts in the process section of your portfolio.

    In your collaboration section you also noted the students on whose work you blogged. Good work.

    Your final included some critical thinking on “perspective” on the topic of:
    • character analysis

    The final essay you hand in will include the following formal components:
    • introduction and conclusion paragraphs that include the main points of your essay and strong thesis sentences
    o keep moving toward this
    • thesis sentences which relay the same information, though in different syntax
    o good, your sentences clearly match up and use syntax variation
    o your next step is to integrate into this thesis some of that which attracts you to write about this, some of that which makes it vibrant for you
    o your second thesis is much more clear. Work toward that kind of syntax
    • topic sentences which describe the main points of their paragraphs
    o good, keep thinking about these as ways to direct your reader along your thoughts
    o keep thinking about how to strengthen and clarify these sentences
    • clear language conveying your thoughts directly
    o your language is generally direct and readable. Through the semester you will practice making it more concise and detailed
    • MLA formatting (please see
    o good
    • at least six primary source quotations
    o good
    • sources notated via in-text citations and a works cited list, both in MLA format (please see and You can look to the bar on the left side of these pages for additional detail on each topic
    o good works cited page
    o review the webpage above for in-text citations. The citation goes after the quote and before the period. Look carefully at the model at the website above

    Additionally, I suggest that you:
    • keep working on creating clear sentence structure by being attentive to reducing redundancy and increasing specificity. As you revise for one syntactic element, you will notice other revisions come to mind that will help you to make your sentences clearer
    • Keep using the paramedic method of editing:, and practice this technique on your sentences.

    Your grade for essay 1 is: A-

    Your ideas are quite strong. Let them develop more, and keep working on syntax so that the language carries the full freight of your ideas.

    Please do let me remind you that each essay needs three rough drafts in your process section, and one final in your craft section. All materials in your portfolio need to be in pdf format. If you have any in any other format please change them to pdf.

    Please do come to see me in office hours if you would like additional feedback.



  3. Response to essay two:

    As stated on page five of your syllabus: “grades will be handed back within two weeks of any assignment’s hand-in date. There will be three written evaluations that will examine your progress through the semester.” The first in-depth written evaluation included comments on your webpage creation and assessment. The second included detailed feedback on essay one, as well as other pertinent class participation. Your next detailed written evaluation will include comments your next essay.

    In class we went over all elements this essay required carefully, engaging in workshops and peer editing around each point mentioned in the rubric. Your grade for this essay is A-. If you would like more specific comments, please do come by office hours. Making an appointment will ensure that there is time set aside for you on the day you would like to come in.



  4. This third written response will consider your third essay and your progress through the semester, noting areas on which you might focus as you complete your final portfolio.

    • I see that drafts of all of your cover letters, and of your introduction, are not yet uploaded
    • I see that you still need to upload evidence
    o and at this time have some of it up
    • for visual clarity
    o you links (to those on whose work you replied) in your collaboration section look great!

    Essay 3:
    • this response will focus primarily on clarity of writing as these tips will be of most help for you as you complete editing your cover letters and essay 4
    o your essay was over 1200 words. Practice writing into your assignment with precision
    o make sure you italicize all titles
    o note commas and periods generally go inside quotations. Check comma notation in relation to quotation marks (#5)
    o you might try to break up some of your longer paragraphs, let the sub-components of your larger ideas stand on their own as paragraphs
    o the assignment called for three quotes from both sources
    o please review the website for MLA in-text citation (
    o please note that the in-text citation refers to the first notation in the works cited list
    o keep working on creating clear sentence structure by being attentive to reducing redundancy and increasing specificity. As you revise for one syntactic element, you will notice other revisions come to mind that will help you to make your sentences clearer
    o one way to work toward clearer syntax is to double check that you have explained your ideas before moving on to the next thought. When you do this more, you will be filling up the space you create from reducing redundancies.
    o to clarify your writing and thinking, keep working with the paramedic method:
    • Grade: B

    As always, if you would like more feedback please do seek me out in office hours. You have done a good job through this semester! Keep the energy going, we are almost there!



  5. Also, make sure that you introduce your evidence in your portfolio
    cover pages, for example: In (insert page you are writing about) I
    include (list evidence), (list evidence), and (list evidence) as
    evidence. These items highlight (characteristic, idea)—from April 11
    2012. ) This practice helps to direct the reader. It let’s the reader
    know what to expect to find, and why you want it there. By doing this
    it sets that reader into the framework you choose, grounds them, and
    gives them focus.

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